By Catrina Leone
You know that feeling. That can’t eat, can’t sleep, the butterflies in your stomach…? Those feelings accurately describe falling in love, but sadly and tragically can also describe the pain and uncertainty of heartbreak. We have all been there. We have all given our all to someone who decided to walk away. I am here to tell you that I found love, true love after my heartbreak and so can you.
As I have stated in previous articles, I had short comings in high school due to bullying and such. I did not have my first boyfriend until I was 16, and that inevitably went on and off for 3 years. Those of you who have been in that type of situation know how hard it can be to cut the ties, but it needs to be done. High school relationships can last into the future but often times do not, and that was the case with me.
College came around and I made a pact to myself to swear all guys off until I was truly ready. I was taken by surprise when I met my now ex-boyfriend, it was unexpected and something I thought I needed. A whirl wind romance, something you would find in a Taylir Swift song. It opened my eyes but also blinded me at the same time. He had a dark past, a past that I tried to break him free from. Here is the same reality, you cannot help someone who won’t help themselves. I became more of a mother figure in his life than his significant other. It drained me but I vowed to stick by him…until that warm July day.
The day eventually came where my ex-boyfriend decided he could not sustain our relationship any further. I found myself in that somewhat low place of begging and pleading. If you have to give someone an ultimatum or beg, it is not right. This break-up took place in 2013 and took until the last month of 2014 for me to accept it. Moving on is a process, similar to grieving. I was angry some days, sad the others. I wanted to hate him but knew I couldn’t, and don’t even now.
That relationship happened for me to figure out who I want to be and what I deserve. Addiction, betrayal, lies…it all happened. I am here almost 2 years later with the love of my life. Someone I would not have met without experiencing true heart break. To whomever is going through something that seems never ending, I am here to tell you that the pain does stop, the worrying fades, and the memories remain just that…memories. Never settle for anything less than you deserve. I am at peace.